What am I doing , I don’t understand,
What I want to do , I don’t understand….
These two lines are eating up my brains since last few months. A fruitful future in hand and calls from several premier B-schools of India have turned this cycle on.Ever since I have started thinking about this I have given up all those things which I liked the most.Most importantly my beauty sleeps ( LOL ) , reading novels,magazines and articles,being online on sevreal messengers and chatting with friends and cooking too as I promised my mom that I’ll make the dinner everyday( yea …. I’m a decent cook too) for one month but couldn’t keep my promise.
Life moves on and we have to keep moving with it , I strongly believe in this quote but does all this means that I’ll have to leave some things and some people behind if I go on and choose to build up a peaceful life or I should focus on both the things what we say as vocation and profession.I think in todays times it is very difficult to maintain both the things , and with a person like me having traits as that of Aamir Khan ( Mr. Perfectionist …. LOL ) it becomes damn difficult to cope up with everything.
Once a promised myself that I’ll start maintaining a diary and will write almost 20-30 lines everyday but as we all know promises are meant to be broken and I think I couldn’t keep my promise live for even a week.Now that diary must have been abusing me for wasting some of its pages and keeping it in a corner of my shelf.
Few months back , photography bug bit me and thought I would definitely do something in this field may be a short term course to understand the basics of photography though I never bothered to buy a camera always used friend’s digital cameras and DSLRs.Many times I went to camera shops with money in my pocket to buy a camera but then this thing came up “You’re going to spend thousands of rupees for a thing about which you don’t know how many times in a year will u be using it ? “.
Well , this question makes sense in my case because I get fascinated with every new thing I see and start dreaming in day time that I will do something in this field but everything goes into vain when it comes to living a normal daily life.
Sometimes I say that I want a job in which my employer makes me work 24 x 6 ( yea you read it correct my employer , if u ever read it …. 😉 ) and just one day in a week to do all those things which I want to do.But do u think thats possible ? I don’t think so. There are a hell lot of tasks which you need to finish when you have an off from office.
One thing is for sure , I’ll start making paintings the day I’ll cross 50 years mark in my life , thats one thing which I’ve always wanted to do since I was a child and this thing remains intact till now , Though I’m not a very good artist but people say I have got a good taste towards them.
What more could I say , I told myself when I started blogging that Yatin you need to write at least one blog entry per week and now you can check what I’m up to …. 🙁